Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
