I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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