weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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