**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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