would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
