I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
