dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they need to just BURY HIM!
two words: eviction party
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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