We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
