Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
