How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
