Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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