and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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