you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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