HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize