I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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