Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
