I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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