So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
