my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
