I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
