Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
