Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
