When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
