my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize