I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
