You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
