I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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