giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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