the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
