i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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