Porn is love you can see.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
