On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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