Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
