hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
