barbara walters just said penis...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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