she smelled like a LAN party
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
