: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
