We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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