i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Your penis caused this!
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