I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
