I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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