i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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