twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
