his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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