that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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