I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
True college students do jello shots in the library
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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