1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
People in love make me want to vomit
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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