I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
