So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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