How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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