im drinking this country out of the recession.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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