We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
