The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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