I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
