Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
