I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm passing your future prison.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
