No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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